What i feel, think and imagine, I spell!
Friday, September 25, 2009
we the people ;)
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Lost Childhood.
They smiled at me with mild contempt and I smiled back
The air reminded me that it has blossomed and I could not embrace it
It took me back and gave me a naughty trailer of what was about to show
And then it began,
the tiny feet splashing in the puddles, much like the one like lie in front of me
i was taken back to my bustling classroom, where i poured from sweat
the shamelessness had left me, and i could only watch
it walk by me and give a friendly smirk
there was once a time i was free, there was once a time no prejudice bound me
the irony is that i am bound by it awareness and my contempt for it
realizing you are in chains and have been trained to be chained does not help
once i was that kid, who lashed out at provocation without lashing out at it
and now i do being helpless each and every while
now i can't jump into that puddle
at times i don't even want to
we change, yes, our needs change, yes
maybe rightly so but why does the fear as well
i, who proudly thought of myself as brave, courageous and fearless
have suddenly been reduced to bits, a tattered image of an illusion
i have cringed when it comes to taking the pain and overcoming the fear
i foolishly thought i was brave when i wasn't afraid
it's funny how the energy to do something cool can let fear not even arise
but it is said that dealing with is the measure,
but going back, i never saw myself change
its almost as if I who never thought that age should be a factor let it change me
why could i not take that jump now
if a school uniform did not stop me, then why this uniform
it's as if this uniform is more binding than the actual uniform
this is the uniform the world gives you to wear
but then i do like to splash
i do it in my mind, it's just that i have lost the tools
made everything up to be an excuse and started to pity myself
i am ultimately the shameless bitch for attention, too shameless
and i can even admit to see the bollywood in that (one brave thing to do)
and i cling on to that hope that i will splash again,
it's tougher to get out of the rat race we are in with ourselves
we live in a world where no one sees us or hears us. tis true
yes it's true, and i could say i love you or i hate you and it wouldn't make a difference
let's see how things unfold.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Self Implicit censorship.
But then again, coming back to the previous point I was making, our development to a certain extent dictates how we deal with this implicit censorship. Why this hesitancy at times? This does not affect us when we are speaking out, as it were, maybe in a blog like this or in a general discussion. When I noticed this, or when I guess this does show up is when the discussion is outside our real comfort zone. When we are not speaking to friends, but to maybe family members we don't really like, or professional contacts in general. To investigate the issue further, another reason for this might be the fact that the mind is working in a horrendous loop to be politically correct and yet try and get a diplomatic stand-point. But it is good to just be plain blank about these discussions. And being of the (lets call it the disturbed) folk myself, this sucks when you censor yourself without realizing it and regret it post a discussion. Some of it, I believe has to do with our culture, which is very tightly wound about what to say and how to say.
All in all, it is a lag we have to overcome. Signing off on an abrupt note.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
movie
Saturday, May 09, 2009
The diary of a truant school boy.
The diary of a truant school boy is a very special thing. It can easily be broken down I guess because it's free , open and vulnerable or hold out very strong for the spirit born of the same reason. It's like the mind of the school boy, very little written into, free to experiment and experience, ready to run and forth. It is scribbled in too, I guess like the dying marks of weak ink that make up the strongest ideas. All the brushmarks, I guess are a thread of thought , style and promise but innocent, loyal and honest, most of all. The diary of a truant school boy is also a very precious thing to hold, it has a lot of power, restless in nature, ready to thwart. It deserves to be free, it deserves to roam, the diary of a truant school boy is a also a very sorry thing, because even those who manage to keep it free can't manage to keep it alive in all it's glory, hardly alive.
Rumour has it, it does not completely die, it has shown signs of resurgence in the past, but no skill, no game, no sport ever comes back the way it was, natural and spontaneous like grass that crumbles below our feet and sways in the wind that tastes it and brushes it away. The diary of a truant school boy is a very beautiful thing and a thing of beauty is a joy forever and ever. Do not lose the eyes behold this beauty cos sooner or later it is going to slip away. The diary of a school boy is a free bird fluttering away over a cliff watching a sea torment, but with all the calm the sea has shown to possess.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Good movies aren't they.
this is nothing but a simple tribute to all those writers, novelists, moviemakers, actors and directors etc. alike who have come up with some good hope, something true and important for us. something other than what is generally used to politicize and has been politicized...so thanks to all of u for making movies like sarfarosh, aamir, mumbai meri jaan, a wednesday and the like (i can only think of these few now) that add strength to my hope that one day i shall live in my country in communal harmony..i shall live in a place where there is freedom of speech, expression and thought and my misguided critics shall understand what i actually want that my words can't properly convey, that i shall live in a place where i dont have to feel deprived or jealous of other countries for not having the sort of relegious vandalism that prevails in my beloved country...they add strength to my burning desire, my biggest hope for my land, country and people if u may say, my dying, leaving breathing, waking, sleeping hope that we shall one day have communal harmony in india, the soft earthen bed of ALL..because only an indian i guess, one who lives here, has been brought up over here can understand the level of ghastliness spread upon us in the name of relegion...because if germany still lives under and tries to come out of the shadow of world war 2 and japan the bombings and other countries out of their haunting, we, i believe are still haunted like many others but this is our biggest challenge, sorrow..the root of our despair
because we can't and won't really get anywhere with this in our backyard