i wish i had the courage to be completely naked

i wish i had the courage to be completely naked

to feel the pangs of the winds on my skin,
  and shiver fleetingly in them
to feel the thorns of the stones beneath my feet
  and revel in the pain
to notice the eyes upon me, with surprise and masked indifference
  and be ok with me noticing them
to feel the sharp gaze of judgement, with the obscenity that comes from fear
  and not bother while acknowledging them
i wish i had the courage to be completely naked

i wish i could sing with abandon, complete and uninhibited
  restrained only by my taste and intuition
i wish i could feel the charred heat of the sun on my skin
  while i shrug off the earth in my palms
and the drop of sweat on my brow, trickling down
  as i prepare to walk on
i wish i could let each part of my body and self be as they are
  and not an ode to someone else or my desires, even if momentarily so
to be for an instant, completely unhinged,
  in breath, in stride, not just in ideas and opinions

i wish i could be disconnected completely,
  and connected intricately at the same time
naked in self, and clothed by nature at the same time
i wish i could love without fear and pre-conceptions again
  like i was reading a book for the first time
i wish i lay on the ground and wrap myself in the earth around me
  as the night sky rained upon me
  and cleansed me from the burden of my thoughts
i wish i could feel whole and empty at the same time
  as if i had died and was just coming back to life

i might not ever get there, but i promise you i'm getting closer
  and i hope you are too
i wish i had the courage to be completely naked
  to be who i am, and to find who i am